Transgender reality star Miriam Rivera wasn’t the only victim exploited in the controversial reality show There’s Something About Miriam. As featured on Channel 4’s Miriam: Death of Reality Star, the six men who signed up to take part were also left reeling
The young lads in reality show There’s Something About Miriam were promised “the adventure of a lifetime” but were left reeling when the cruel lie about Miriam’s gender was revealed to them as the cameras rolled.
New Channel 4 documentary Miriam: Death Of A Reality Star examines how Mexican model Miriam Rivera became reality TV’s first transgender star and the shameful show that catapulted her into the limelight. Billed as “the story of one of the most controversial TV events of the last 20 years and the questions that remain unanswered”, the series also looks at her tragic life after fame and her mysterious death aged 38.
There’s no doubt that the show is the most deplorable reality TV to date, with the premise that six young men compete for the affections of stunning model Miriam, 21, and a reward of £10,000 for the winner. However little did they know that Miriam was a transgender woman who hadn’t yet undergone gender-affirming surgery. Cruelly making her gender the ‘shock twist’, the contestants were only told when she made her selection at the end of the series and she announced it in front of the cameras.
Here we take a look at who the men were who won the chance to appear on the show, what happened when the truth was revealed to them and how some of them now feel about the brutal insensitivity shown by the programme’s makers to all concerned.
Recruitment ads for the 2003 show, originally to be called Find Me a Man, promised contestants “the adventure of a lifetime” for men aged 20 to 35 who “want it all” and are “fit and up for everything.” There was also a £10,000 prize to go along with the possibility of bagging a beautiful Mexican girlfriend and the fame that could accompany what was hoped would be a TV hit.
The men who successfully secured a place on the show were optician Mark Dimino, 24, student Toby Green, 23, chef Aron Lane, 22, lifeguard and ex-ski instructor Tom Rooke, 23, martial arts expert Scott Gibson, 22 and Royal Marine, Dominic Conway, 28. The “six red-blooded lads” were whisked off to Ibiza, Spain by Sky One to stay in a £2m villa where they competed in challenges for 18 days to try and win dates with Miriam.
After the show, Tom from Worthing, West Sussex told local newspaper, The Argus, that when the day’s challenges were done, they were able to enjoy a raucous nightlife and were plied with booze: He said: “There were copious amounts of alcohol, as much as we could drink. A woman would come and ask what we wanted.”
In an attempt to keep the secret about Miriam’s sexuality from getting out, efforts were made by production staff not to call her by any particular pronoun and the lads weren’t allowed to spend long periods of time with her. When Tom and Miriam started kissing at one point and his hands began wandering, producers stepped in, fearful he would discover the truth.
The show’s host, former Blue Peter presenter Tim Vincent, revealed in a dubious voiceover for the show: “These heroic guys have no idea that Miriam is as much Steve as Eve. As much Arthur as Martha. From the waist down, she’s a man.”
Apparently, the crew started to feel uneasy about the deception and worried about what would happen at the ‘reveal’ in the final scenes, so they drafted in some muscle in case things got out of hand. Aron, who is now a 42 year old father of three and a fundraising manager, revealed what it was like during the last moments of the show. According to the Guardian, he said: “There were suddenly lots of big, intimidating guys around. They’d drafted in bouncers from local clubs as extra security. That was when we knew something was afoot.”
Miriam chose Tom, who she had been kissing throughout the show, as the winner and gave a speech, which her childhood friend suspects was scripted because it didn’t sound like Miriam. She said: “I tried to be honest with all of you, not just some of you.
“Yes, I am from Mexico, I am a model, and I’m 21. But Tom, I really love spending time with you and kissing you. You see, I love men, and I love being a woman. But… shh, quiet everybody, please, quiet. But you see, Tom… I am not a woman. I was born as a man.”
Viewers saw the men’s mouths drop open as they absorbed the words and the realisation of the situation sank in. Apparently Scott was so furious that he smashed the set up and chased the director around the pool. “Suddenly everything happened at a million miles per hour,” Aron recalls. “Cameramen were crying. Miriam got swept off and we never saw her again. I would’ve liked a conversation about what she might have been going through. We’ll never have that opportunity.”
Tom accepted the prize money and a yacht trip with Miriam while he was on camera but he later refused it. The men were flown home and it was on that flight they decided to take legal action. All six contestants, who “formed a brotherhood”, accused Sky and the producers of a string of offences including conspiracy to commit sexual assault, defamation, personal injury and breach of contract. They eventually settled out of court for an undisclosed sum and agreed to allow the show to air, which it eventually did in February 2004.
Tom said at the time: “We felt we were fighting for every reality show victim who has been humiliated in the past. We were reality show martyrs overnight. No one had ever sued before.”
Psychologist, Dr Gareth Smith was drafted in at the last minute to help with the fallout from the finale. He says the concept of the show was wrong from the start: “The fact that she had a penis seemed to be the punchline to a joke. But it wasn’t a joke. It was Miriam and her life. These boys didn’t have the option to consent. It was cruelty television.” The British Medical Journal also wrote at the time: “The premise was not a celebration of transgender people’s lives. It was designed to elicit horror from the winning contestant, discovering that his dream date had a penis.”
Miriam enjoyed some fame after the show but she eventually went back to the US and sank into depression and drug addiction.
Aron reflects on the tragedy of the whole affair and Miriam’s desolate demise: “Our beef was with the TV company, not Miriam. I do regret her becoming collateral damage and the domino effect it might’ve had. She was like a prisoner in her own TV show. A character rather than a person. They made her a laughing stock, which was cruel. I would’ve loved to make this documentary with Miriam still with us. It’s desperately sad.”
Miriam: Death of a Reality Star starts tonight on Channel 4 at 9pm and runs for the next two nights.
If you or anyone you know needs help or support with any of the issues discussed in this article, contact the Samaritans on 116 123 any time of day or night.
James Parker is a UK-based entertainment aficionado who delves into the glitz and glamour of the entertainment industry. From Hollywood to the West End, he offers readers an insider’s perspective on the world of movies, music, and pop culture.
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