She doesn’t have the brain shrinkage usually associated with the condition. In her case, it might be damage to the brain caused by the tumour. What was important was having a diagnosis to educate myself around, and learning that this won’t get better. No brain operation would be likely to fix the parts of her brain that have died. It was horrible to know, but helpful. It meant a total change, a fundamental rethink of our lives.
By then, I’d been made redundant, and though I was upset and embarrassed to lose my job after 25 years, the timing couldn’t have been better. I miss the mental challenge of work, but I’ve had plenty of mental challenges dealing with this: being a carer without blowing your top; managing your own feelings of depression about not being good enough; and coping with the tedium. I’ve been the chief executive officer of a bank in two countries, but this is definitely harder.
I had to upskill myself. I do everything now – the cooking, cleaning, washing, shopping – and at first, learning how and building a routine consumed all my time. I had a friend, who is a caterer, come and teach me some basic cooking skills, like how to chop an onion. Having never even made toast in the past, I hope my cooking is pretty good now. I do meal plans for the week and know how to make something out of what we’ve got left – my kids call it “dad’s experimental cooking”.
Sarah Carter is a health and wellness expert residing in the UK. With a background in healthcare, she offers evidence-based advice on fitness, nutrition, and mental well-being, promoting healthier living for readers.
