My daughter-in-law REFUSES to cater to my nut allergy so I canceled dinner at my son’s new house

• A mom took to Reddit to reveal that her son’s wife decline to accommodate her
• She shared that her daughter-in-law wouldn’t make nut-free food
• The mom questioned if she was an a**hole 

A mom has been fiercely defended after she revealed her daughter-in-law refused to accommodate her nut allergy. 

The anonymous woman took to Reddit to share her frustrations with her son’s wife, whom she said her child has been married to for three years. 

She explained that she had always cooked special meals for her son’s spouse because she was vegetarian. But when her son and his wife decided to host a dinner party, they declined to make her meal nut-free and requested she bring her own food. 

The mom questioned if she was in the wrong in the thread titled, ‘Am I the A**hole,’ for refusing to attend the dinner if her daughter-in-law didn’t want to make adjustments. 

She explained: ‘I am very very frustrated. My son has been married to my DIL for three years now. I have always made extra dishes that didn’t include meat to accommodate her. 

‘No matter how much it was a pain to do I always made sure she had options to eat when I hosted or she was over. She is vegetarian and at one point tried to go vegan.’ 

The mom noted that her son never had them over for dinner because his apartment was small. 

However, when he bought a house for wife, he invited his mom and dad over. 

‘My son and her never hosted due to living in a small apartment but that changed since they have just bought a home. 

‘They are having a dinner this week and I called her to remind her I am allergic to nuts,’ she said.

The Reddit user revealed that her daughter-in-law refused to make adjustments and told her to bring her own food. 

‘She then informed me that she doesn’t have time and to bring my own food. She told me that she cooks a lot with different nuts and she can’t make adjustments to her menu,’ the mom said.

The mom noted that this made her angry and she began acting like a ‘jerk’. 

‘I told her I will not be going and neither will my husband. That I have accommodated her for years and not once have I made her bring her own food. This started an argument where she thinks I am being unreasonable,’ she added. 

And while her husband is on her side, her son and his wife have yet to see her perspective. 

At the end of the post, she said: ‘My husband is on my side but my son and her as very upset.’ 

People flooded the comments section and slammed the daughter-in-law as they backed the Reddit user. 

One person said: ‘I wouldn’t say anything but make the dinner ALL MEAT. And make it meat with faces.’ 

Someone else added: ‘I’m the default hostess in my friend group which also means keeping track of everyone’s allergies and honestly, it’s not that big of a deal! It can actually be kind of fun because it forces me to be creative and try recipes I otherwise wouldn’t have.’ 

‘NTA…nut allergies are serious. Catering to allergies is basic hospitality when having a dinner party. Perhaps your daughter-in-law is not ready to play host. She CAN make adjustments to her menus, especially for close family members. They shouldn’t be surprised that you won’t come,’ added another user.

‘This was my thought… she’s just a crappy host,’ commented another person. 

‘Yeah, it’s messed up. I had a roommate with a peanut allergy, so for 5 years I just. Didn’t make peanut chicken. We didn’t even keep peanut butter in the house. You accommodate allergies as part of being a civilized person.

‘Heck, I’m going on a work trip and we were just asked about dietary restrictions and now because of me no one’s going to have access to whole oranges (I’m allergic enough to citrus that being in the same room as someone peeling an orange will make me start sneezing violently). Probably no one will even notice this restriction as there will probably be other snacks, but I’m happy I’m going to be safe because of quality administration.

And here the DIL is just opting out of that whole part of the social contract,’ wrote another user.

Someone else added: ‘NTA. I would never dream of asking an invited guest to bring their own food. Especially if I know if advance of the allergy. Your son and DIL are being unreasonable. ‘ 

‘Yeah, as a host I would be ashamed to not be able to feed my guests,’ commented another user.

Another user said: ‘How the hell many dishes can she make that contain different kinds of nuts? Is this an “I Love Nuts” party? This is oddly confusing on her part. Not the a**hole.’