DEAR DEIDRE: The guy at the gym I have sex with tells me that although he fancies me he’s not yet ready to put any kind of label on us.
We met a few months ago and started out as friends. Outside of the gym we meet most weekends for dinner, the cinema and go for walks.
I am a 34-year-old gay guy. He is 36.
We often chill at my flat and end up getting intimate. After a while I realised I was developing feelings for him. I told him and asked him where his head was at.
He said that he is attracted to me, likes spending time with me, and for now, that is enough for him.
He even said he isn’t speaking to anyone else, but I’ve seen him receiving messages from dating apps.
Initially, I thought it was mature of him to focus on ensuring he’s in the right place before committing but he’s confused me by adding that I shouldn’t wait around.
I would hate to pass on this opportunity as we get on so well. I don’t know what to do.
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DEIDRE SAYS: You can’t make him want the same as you. He has been honest with you but is keeping his options open.
Unfortunately, that means you are at risk of being hurt if he decides he prefers someone else.
Give yourself a deadline. If he hasn’t agreed to be in a relationship with you by then, perhaps you will have to walk away.
My support pack When Your Man Won’t Commit will help.
Sarah Carter is a health and wellness expert residing in the UK. With a background in healthcare, she offers evidence-based advice on fitness, nutrition, and mental well-being, promoting healthier living for readers.
