Why I refuse to cook meals for my son’s rude girlfriend even though they’ve been together for six years

A fed-up mum has asked if she is ‘in the wrong’ for refusing to cook for her son and his ‘picky’ girlfriend when they visit. 

The woman said she would usually prepare a homemade meal for the family to enjoy – but the girlfriend doesn’t eat much and has rudely dismissed the food she’s made in the past. 

On Reddit, the mum said the situation is offensive and has left her questioning if her soon to be daughter-in-law enjoys the food or not.

‘I am also from a different culture from them so I thought maybe she just doesn’t like the spices I used. I have made really simple things and she doesn’t ever eat it. I asked my son about it and he told me she is just a picky eater,’ the woman wrote.

The mum explained her son and his girlfriend have been together for six years and have a child.  

‘Now when they visit I like to make a nice meal but every single time she doesn’t eat, just picks at it and covers it [with] a napkin by the end of the night,’ she said. 

‘They are supposed to come over tomorrow, I told my son I am not cooking since I am tired of her not eating a thing and I feel like I am wasting my time. I will order pizza.

‘He’s really upset that I am not cooking since he doesn’t get homemade meals often. Am I the a**hole for not wanting to cook since one of my guests never appreciates it?’

The mum claims whenever she’s asked about it she gets ‘brushed off’ by the couple. 

The thread was liked more than 4,500 times and received over 1,500 comments, with majority of people declaring the son and his girlfriend are in the wrong.

‘You’ve asked and they refuse to provide information. He can enjoy his free pizza or have an adult discussion with you. He isn’t prepared to do either, so he can make his own home cooked meals at home,’ one person commented.

‘The son has a baby of his own; time to be a grownup and learn to cook for his own family and leave mum out of it!’ another said.

However, some encouraged the mum to ask her son if something more serious is afoot.

‘Maybe her picky eating is rooted in disordered eating. Just something to keep in mind and ask your son in private if she struggles with something like that,’ one shared.

Another said: ‘This is what my concern was as well. A friend of mine struggled with disordered eating and did similar things.’

‘Have you had a conversation with her about it? You haven’t mentioned how she told you she feels about the situation,’ one asked. 

The mum responded by saying she has tried starting a conversation on the topic previously. 

‘My son either stops the conversation or she tells me she doesn’t want to talk about it. He has given me things to make before,’ she said. 

‘So she could just think I am a bad cook, I’ve seen her eat before in her home so I don’t think eating disorder.’

Feeling confused, she just ‘can’t figure out what is happening’ and says the couple eat at restaurants.

Others encouraged the woman to stick with takeaway food as a ‘good option’ and some questioned if the girlfriend would eat that compared to homemade meals.