Influencer shares SIX ‘psychological’ signs ‘someone secretly dislikes you’

Have you ever had a sneaky feeling that someone secretly dislikes you, but have no evidence to back it up? 

An influencer who makes mindset and psychology videos has made a series claiming to reveal the tell-tale signs someone is not your biggest fan. 

Josh Fraser Young from Christchurch, New Zealand, has shared a number of videos outlining how you can identify ‘the secret haters’ around you.

He’s racked up more than 500,000 views on TikToks and has 193,000 followers under the handle @joshfraseryoung.

The influencer warned: ‘Knowing these will open your eyes to how people truly feel about you so be advised’ – read on for the full list and what a certified psychologist thinks of the claims.

They downplay your achievements

The TikToker said the number one thing to look out for is when a person downplays your achievements. 

He used the example of a friend telling you: ‘Running a mile in seven minutes isn’t that good. I actually know a guy who can run one in six minutes’.

Josh explained: ‘People who dislike you are easily prone to envy, especially when you’re doing better than them.

‘So know that when someone close to you shows signs of jealousy, deep down they actually want you to fail’.

Psychology consultant & life coach, Bayu Prihandito, chimed in with his thoughts on the tips.

He said: ‘It’s true that envy can lead people to downplay your achievements.

‘However, this behavior often stems from their own insecurities rather than a direct dislike for the person. 

‘Consider it a defense mechanism, where downplaying your success helps them cope with their feelings of inadequacy’.

They are never the first to reach out

Next, they ‘are never the first to reach out’ and you will always find yourself messaging them with not much back in return, Josh claimed.

He advised: ‘The truth is, if someone wants to contact you, they will.

‘People are on their phones 24/7, so if they never contact you or never make an effort to reply, there’s a high likelihood that they don’t actually like you’.

Founder at Life Architekture, Prihtandito adds: ‘This point is quite oversimplified. While it’s true that people who like you will often reach out, not doing so doesn’t always mean dislike. 

‘Modern life means juggling with multiple responsibilities and since our attention span is getting smaller by the day ue to things like TikTok, it can lead to unintentional neglect in other aspects of our lives.

‘In that case, don’t jump to conclusions, and instead consider the broader context of your relationship and how you communicate’.

They’re nice to everyone but you 

The next one may seem obvious, but it could be more subtle than you think.

It’s that ‘they seem slightly nice to everyone but not you’ – whether that’s complimenting others and never you or inviting others to events and leaving you out.

Josh gave an example of someone saying: ‘What re you even wearing bro? I wish you could be more stylish like Ben’.

He added: ‘You have to face that facts honestly that the way people treat you is the way they feel about you.

‘If someone shows up for others but refuses to show up in that same way for you, they don’t like you’.

The certified psychologist explains: ‘This behavior is a clear indicator of negative feelings, but it’s not always straightforward dislike. 

‘It can also stem from unresolved conflicts, jealousy, or even personal issues completely unrelated to you. 

‘The key is to understand the underlying reasons why you are being treated differently’.

They try to outshine you 

The TikToker claims another tell-tale sign is if they always try to outshine you and turn everything into a competition. 

Josh said: ‘You got an A on the psychology test, I actually got an A+.

‘People who dislike you are often jealous of you as they can’t stand it when you’re doing better than them.

‘So, when someone close to you shows signs of envy and tries to compete with you, know that they’re a secret enemy in disguise’.

Prihtandito adds: ‘In many cases, this behavior is about the person’s issues with low self-esteem and their need to validate themselves. 

‘While it can be frustrating, understanding this can help in developing empathy and addressing the root cause’. 

They are quick to point out your flaws 

Similarly, Josh says they are quick to point out your flaws or insecurities. 

For example, saying your hair looks greasy and asking if you showered, especially in front of a group. 

He said: ‘People who dislike you can’t stand it when the spotlight is on you, so they do this to bring you down in front of others’.

Again, the psychologist points out that this is often a ‘reflection’ of someone’s own insecurities.

Prihtandito explained: ‘When someone is uncomfortable with their own flaws, they might project these feelings onto others. It’s less about disliking you and more about their internal struggles.’.

They frequently misinterpret you

Finally, they will frequently misinterpret what you say and twist positivity into negativity.

Josh gave the example of complimenting their outfit, they may reply with something like: ‘What do you mean nice outfit? I wear this every day’.

He adds: ‘Because people who dislike you have a negative perception about you, they’ll often interpret what you say negatively, so when they take your praise as a subtle insult or a slight, know that they’re a secret enemy’. 

Prihtandito comments on the claims, explaining: ‘Consistently negative interpretation of your words can be a sign of underlying resentment or personal bias. 

‘However, it’s also important to consider your own communication style and the words used that might contribute to these misunderstandings’. 

One shocked commenter wrote: ‘Your saying I need new friends,’ meanwhile another penned, ‘Yikes this is my husband of 20 years’.

Others chimed in with, ‘Unfortunately, my two sisters’ and ‘That’s all of my colleagues’. 

Another said: ‘Unfortunately this was my last relationship!,’ to which Josh replied, ‘I’m sorry to hear that. Always remember it says more about them than it does you’.