I had an unexpected threesome with my best friend and my boyfriend – but now I feel betrayed by them both

A woman has revealed that she had a threesome with her best friend and her boyfriend – but now feels ‘extremely betrayed’ by them both.

The Reddit user, believed to be from the US, took to the Am I Wrong thread to dish all the dirty details about the unexpected encounter.

She explained that the hang out at her best friend’s apartment had ‘started out innocently enough’ but soon escalated into a ‘fully-fledged threesome.’

The woman said that in the aftermath she had been left with nothing but regret and had already ‘thrown up twice from the intrusive memories.’

In the post, which was shared last week, the woman divulged that she and her boyfriend had been at her best friend’s apartment ‘playing games and watching movies.’

But things soon took a turn.

‘Then we started playing “never have I ever” and the questions were pretty sexual. She then asked “never have I ever had a threesome” and both me and my boyfriend said no. Her entire vibe changed (to the point it was scary) and she looked at us both. She said “what if we did something crazy?”

‘I kind of laughed because no part of me could’ve ever fathomed what she meant. But then she scooted closer to my boyfriend and started kissing him! He wasn’t stopping her. I just froze. It felt surreal, like a dream/nightmare. 

‘There they were making out like it was the most natural thing in the world. I think I had a trauma response of sorts and kind of… tricked myself into thinking this was normal? I can’t explain it. 

‘But it’s like my brain wasn’t ready to feel the extent of what was happening so it tricked itself. They started undressing each other and on instinct I undressed myself too. 

‘This isn’t a sex sub so I won’t go into the dirty details but a full-fledge threesome occurred between us.’

The exasperated woman explained that she had initially thought it was a dream when she woke up in the morning – but then saw her boyfriend and best friend ‘naked on the floor together.’

She explained: ‘I still couldn’t process what the hell occurred so I just kind of ran out. When it finally hit me I had a full-fledge breakdown. I’ve gotten calls and texts from both of them asking if I’m okay. 

‘I haven’t responded. I can’t respond. I’ve thrown up twice from the intrusive memories. I didn’t want this. Why did I go along with this? Why didn’t I stop it? Why did SHE start it? Questions just keep swimming in my brain. I don’t know what the hell to do.’

The woman said that her boyfriend had described it as ‘such a special event’ in their relationship – but she admitted that she had been avoiding his attempts to reach out.

‘I have no idea where to go from here. I still love him but I can’t look at him the same I mean I f***ing saw his d**k go in and out of my best friend. Not to mention her. I feel like I’ve been betrayed in the most disgusting way even though I let it happen/participated,’ she wrote. 

The initial post concluded: ‘Am I right to feel like they did wrong in the worst way?’

As hundreds of readers began to weigh in on the situation, the woman provided further context relating to some of the most common comments.

She insisted that her boyfriend had not been sleeping with her best friend – and that their threesome was the first time.

‘He didn’t actively want to sleep with her but he wouldn’t have said no either. He put this down to being a horny guy,’ the woman wrote.

‘He thought that the vibe was super sexual even before she came onto him and that he expected it to happen and thought I did too. He mentioned how sexual the questions were and her straight up saying we were turning her on with our answers (she did say this but I thought she was joking).

‘He didn’t push her away because he thought it would be a fun experience for all of us. He admitted to being turned on by her boldness and doing it in front of me.

‘He thought that if she did it so easily it meant she and I talked about it beforehand and that’s why we invited him.

‘They didn’t have sex after I left, but they did express regret over possibly hurting me and he left a soon as he could.’

Besides the Reddit user having the conversation with her boyfriend, she also asked him to show her his phone.

‘He admitted that they did message a bit after the ordeal but it was nothing serious. I asked if I could see and he got kind of panicky which made my heart drop,’ the girlfriend wrote.

‘He was like “let me remind you that I was still in the mindset that it was a special moment for us.” So I knew I was going to get sick from what I saw but I needed the full truth of the situation so I asked anyway. He showed me their DMs.’

In the texts, her boyfriend had told the best friend that the night of the threesome had been ‘the best night of my life.’

She responded: ‘Me too. I feel bad that [your girlfriend] might feel bad, but god it was so hot.’

He replied with a text that read: ‘I’ll be sad if we can’t do that again.’

The best friend then said: ‘You’re everything [your girlfriend] said you were,’ to which he replied: ‘She talks about me like that? I’m embarrassed lol.’

She then admitted: ‘All the time, I low key wanted to see for myself.’

The Reddit user then explained: ‘After that, he started complimenting her sex skills and stuff which I quickly skimmed over because I knew I’d get sick if I fully processed them. 

‘I skimmed over the rest of the conversation really because at this point I just couldn’t handle seeing anything else of that nature.

‘I scrolled up in their DMs and only saw occasional memes and reposts so I’m pretty confident that last night was the first time. It still doesn’t make me feel better though considering while I was having a literal breakdown they were complimenting each others sex skills and bodies.

‘I told him to leave and he begged me to forgive him for everything but I told him to go f**k her again since he loved it so much.’ 

The woman concluded: ‘At this point I’ll probably block them both and just focus on healing and moving on because I know I’m not the kind of person to get over that at all.’

The Reddit post was soon flooded with thousands of mixed comments.

Many took the woman’s side and agreed that she had been ‘betrayed’ by both her best friend and boyfriend.

One person wrote: ‘I genuinely believe that the bf and best friend were already a thing behind your back, OP. This was just a way to make things “okay.”

‘Talk to them, separately. Be open and honest. End the friendship and relationship, if you feel that’s necessary (I won’t tell you what to do).’

Another commented: ‘The most important part of engaging in group sex with your partner is discussing it beforehand, establishing boundaries, and vetting someone you know will be respectful of your relationship and understands the role they will be playing in your sex life with your partner. 

‘None of that happened here. It feels very immature and poorly thought out on their part.

‘You have every right to be super uncomfortable with this and I’d strongly encourage you to re-evaluate your relationship with both of them.’

A third added: ‘Did your boyfriend even check in with you during to make sure you were ok? I think they set this up. You are right to feel betrayed. Dump these a***holes.’

Someone else wrote: ‘Am I the only one who thinks the “best friend” and boyfriend were already having sex with each other before this? And this was just a way for them to make it “ok?”‘

But, on the other hand, other readers thought that the woman needs to ‘take accountability’ for participating in the situation. 

One person wrote: ‘Yes, that would be a little weird experience. But you have to take accountability for your part. You could have stopped or once it started, but you choose not to. 

‘I believe that, yes, it will never be the same. So you have a couple of options. You can act like an adult and have a sit down with all of you and discuss your feelings or you can just keep avoiding, and hope that feeling goes away and act like it didn’t happen or you can cut ties with both of them.

‘Just because you didn’t engage it, you still allowed it and played your part, so a part of your really wanted to try it, obviously. That’s IMO. I hope it works out for you.’

Another commented: ‘This happened to me too. I just want to point out how quick your friend and bf were going at it. And left you alone.

‘And then left you alone and slept together on the floor. My ex did this and it was because he wanted a legit excuse to have sex with the girl he had been cheating with behind my back. 

‘It was a power thing. You absolutely had a trauma response. Any sex that is coerced is not consensual. Not once were you allowed to clarify verbally that you wanted this. You just did what you thought you had to do. Please cut them both off.’

A third person added: ‘You were traumatized. That’s a trauma response. Freezing is a common response, as is giving in/submitting. I couldn’t even tell you how many times that happened to me. 

‘I couldn’t tell you how to handle this right now, but they need to know there was no prior consent and it was psychologically damaging to you. That you gave in out of that shock response and not because you were 100 per cent on board. 

‘Then I would go see a therapist, especially with intrusive thoughts. It may not get better on its own over time, trust me. You have every reason to feel betrayed like you do. It really was a betrayal. 

‘I’m so so so sorry this happened to you and wish you the best of luck with whatever you decide.’

Someone else commented: ‘At some point you need to take responsibility for your inaction. You’re not a victim. You went as far as to participate. This is a decision. 

‘It’s okay to regret the decisions you made. It’s also fucked up that your friend started making out with your bf and your bf seemingly didn’t give a shit about what you thought. Speak up next time. You learned a lesson. You have a voice. You have a choice.’ 

The woman herself later confirmed that she had blocked both her boyfriend and her best friend out of her life, adding: ‘I can’t stop wondering how it was so easy for them. 

‘I really thought he loved me more than that. I feel sick all over again. 

‘”Going with the flow” is the best way to describe it. I could almost hear my brain going, “okay, this is some f***ed up s**t, let’s turn autopilot on.” 

‘I feel so disgusted with myself for letting it happen. It’s horrible – that’s the first time I ever felt my brain just turn off like that.’