I always felt sex was a chore — now I’m coming out as a proud asexual
Let’s not talk about sex, baby.
A young British woman is speaking out about her asexuality, saying she hasn’t had sex in years and could happily go the rest of her life without getting frisky.
Amie Butler, 25, said she often faces confusion from critics about what it means to shy away from sex, many of whom insist that she simply hasn’t experienced a good romp yet, and is “too hot” to truly be asexual.
“It can be frustrating when people say and believe these things,” Butler admitted in an interview with the Daily Star. “But at the end of the day it’s who I am and if I can accept it that’s enough for me at the moment.”
Butler began identifying as asexual two years ago after realizing that the romantic feelings she had for her boyfriend didn’t produce any kind of carnal desire.
“I was dating this guy and I realized I didn’t want to sleep with him, even though he was everything I was looking for on paper,” she recalled. “That made me ask the question of have I ever wanted to sleep with anyone and the answer was not really.”
With candor, she added, “I always found it a bit of a chore or something I should be doing because everyone else is.”
Butler began researching asexuality on the internet, and says she was initially devastated to find she fit the category.
“I just thought there was something wrong with me,” she revealed. “It was quite a big and hard-hitting realization and it knocked me for six. I struggled mentally for such a long time.”
Over time, however, Butler has started to embrace her asexuality, and confidently claimed, “If sex was made illegal tomorrow I think I’d actually feel a bit relieved.”
Butler still hopes to date and eventually find a life partner, and hasn’t ruled out ever having sex again — though the desire for it may not be there.
If she is to embark on a relationship, she maintained that it will be important for her partner be understanding and on the same page.
For now, Butler has started her own TikTok account to help educate people about the orientation and remove any stigma.
The Brit has clocked up almost 18,000 followers on the app, where she is helping others come to terms with the fact they never want to get freaky.
For those struggling with their asexuality, Butler said, “Give yourself time to accept it. I’m still in the process of accepting it but I promise it does get easier.”