Dudley woman uses grief of baby loss to help bereaved families

A woman who lost her baby at 16 weeks is now campaigning for hospitals in the Midlands to introduce comfort bears to help bereaved children.

Georgina James was forced to terminate her pregnancy after her son was diagnosed with anencephaly – a condition where parts of the skull and brain fail to develop.

Ms James felt shame over losing her son, Henry, early in the pregnancy, but she said receiving a “dandelion bear” – so-called because like the flower they are “precious and delicate” – was like “getting a little hug”.

Now, she wants to supply bears to local hospitals to support children who are grieving siblings.

“As the parent, you get offered so many things – but that’s why these bears are important, because the siblings can sometimes be left out,” she said.

The Aching Arms charity, which created the dandelion bears, said where dandelion seeds bring beauty to a meadow, a bear in memory of a lost baby will “bring warmth and comfort to someone, somewhere, who finds themselves on a similar path”.

City Hospital Birmingham, Royal Stoke Hospital, New Cross Hospital, Russell Hall, Worcestershire Royal Hospital and the Princess Royal Hospital Telford have all requested the bears.

Although baby loss groups are designed to help grieving families, Ms James said her grief was made to feel like it didn’t mattered.

“I was going to baby loss groups, but I never found anybody who actually spoke up about having a termination for medical reasons,” she explained.

“I felt shame going because I was ready to talk, but it was like I was getting a different response from the different parents who had miscarriages or stillbirths.”

After going to therapy and taking time to manage her grief, the 29-year-old now works as a bereavement support worker and helps children get equal after-care when they have heard devastating news.

“They’re excited to become a brother or sister, but when a loss happens we get asked, ‘How do we tell our kids?’.

“The bears could be a conversation starter for the kids, or be seen as a gift from their sibling that has passed.

“My little bear was giving me comfort and I want to give that back to another family experiencing that heartbreak.”