DEAR JANE: I got my colleague FIRED after reporting his disgusting behavior – now the whole office has turned against me for ‘snitching’

Dear Jane,

I’ve been working in the same job for about six years now and until a few months ago, I was always very lucky to have been blessed with what I thought were great colleagues. 

But back in September, a new member of the team joined us and he very quickly established himself as the office ‘hunk’, earning a lot of fans – both among the women, who think he’s handsome, and with the men, who he bonds with over football and drinking.

But out of everyone, it was me who had to work closest with him, and I very quickly realized that he had a much more cruel side to him than he let most people see. 

I’d hear him making horrible and cruel comments to people from other companies on the phone and making disgusting, offensive jokes about some of the women in the office behind their backs… all of which was awful, but I tried my best to ignore it and just get on with my own job.

Slowly however, his behavior began to get more erratic – and ended up with him screaming at a poor woman down the phone for no reason whatsoever.

I went over to his desk to ask what had been going on and saw what was very obviously some drug paraphernalia sitting there by his computer. 

He tried to cover it up with his keyboard but I know exactly what I saw and decided that I needed to report him to HR. Which I did. I made a full report about everything I’d seen and heard, and in the end, they decided it would be best to terminate his contract, admittedly much to my relief.

The thing is, nobody else in the office was really aware of what was going on, and they all seem to have taken the view now that I’m some kind of snitch who was out to get him from the start. It feels like they’ve all turned against me and I’m growing so tired of the snide comments and pointed whispers that going into the office has become miserable.

I don’t want to risk raising this situation with my boss because I don’t want them to have even more ‘evidence’ that I’m a tattle tale, but this whole situation is making my working life unbearable. I know there’s more to life than a job, but the idea of walking away from this great position because of the behavior of this a**hole is so frustrating!

Any ideas on how I can make them stop?

From,

Water Cooler Cruelty

Dear Water Cooler Cruelty,

It’s hard to be the lone warrior for justice, but please know that you absolutely did the right thing, even though you might be regretting it now.

Most people don’t do the right thing. They turn their heads hoping bad behavior will stop, or that someone else will deal with it instead of them. 

It takes real bravery to report, particularly when it runs the risk of alienating others, and again, I applaud your courage.

My first piece of advice is to gather your colleagues together, or perhaps have a drink after work, and explain the reasons behind you reporting him. 

Tell them you stand by your decision, because nobody deserves to be spoken about behind their backs, nor treated badly. Explain that you have been very happy in your job, and have always felt blessed to have such great colleagues. 

If they decide to punish you for reporting your colleague, that’s a shame, and there is nothing you can do about that.

After that, Water Cooler, go about your day-to-day business as usual. 

If they choose to continue whispering and making comments, ignore them. If they do continue, know that this is nothing to do with you, but that they are somehow fueled by drama and gossip. 

Keep your head high, and this will doubtless blow over.