Strictly star Annabel Croft says she felt ‘heartbroken’ and a ‘gut wrenching pain’ when the show ended as she describes her first Christmas since the loss of her beloved husband a ‘nightmare’

Strictly star Annabel Croft says she felt ‘lost’ and ‘heartbroken’ when the BBC show ended – and describes her first Christmas since the tragic loss of her beloved husband a ‘nightmare.’

The tennis ace, 57, was widowed in May after her husband of 36 years Mel Coleman died from cancer but said competing on Strictly alongside partner Johannes Radebe, 36, had given her a new lease of life.

When the series finished in December, Annabel says she had a ‘sick feeling inside’ and it was a real ‘wrench’ facing the prospect of life without the show. 

The mother-of-three explained her first Christmas without Mel felt like a ‘nightmare’ she couldn’t wake up from so she welcomed the distraction of working overseas to get through the festive season.

Ahead of the Strictly tour, which begins on Friday in Birmingham, Annabel admits she is ‘sad’ not to be performing with Johannes after crediting the professional dancer for helping to gain back her confidence following her traumatic year.

She said: ‘I felt lost… it’s a bit heartbreaking actually. You have kind of a sick feeling inside.

‘I just missed being with Johannes every day.

‘Actually, we were so close and just like eight, 10 hours a day talking to somebody and just compatible and a lot of synergy.

‘And then we talk every evening and we’ve been speaking a lot since. But it’s not the same as going to dance every day and having lunch every day and talking every day.

‘I just missed all of that. I missed that routine. And so it is quite a wrench actually. It’s hard to describe.’

Annabel has spoken about how brutal it was watching her husband deteriorate at such a fast rate after he went from diagnosis to death in a matter of 16 weeks.

And it was the family’s first festive season since losing Mel, with Annabel saying that she flew to Saudi Arabia for a work commitment on Christmas Day evening to momentarily escape the pain.

Speaking about Christmas, Annabel said: ‘It was pretty hard. It’s not easy. There’s no other way around it.

‘All these firsts that we’ve got to go through as a family, it’s not easy. And luckily I was… well, I wouldn’t say luckily, but I was working, I had to fly out to Riyad on Christmas night, so it was a disrupted Christmas day anyway.’

Reflecting on last December, Annabel says it is ‘impossible’ to comprehend the events that followed and she still feels like she’s living in a nightmare.

She added: ‘It was just so odd. It’s just hard to believe we had a normal family Christmas last year.

‘It’s still impossible to imagine what happened. We just can’t get our heads around it.

‘Every day I think about it and I can’t quite believe what’s happened and I can’t process it properly.

‘It’s hard. I don’t even know what to say about it. It’s just like, how has this happened?

‘I’m in some bad dream, wanting the dream or the nightmare to go away and I keep thinking, ‘Oh well it’s not going away.’

Annabel narrowly missed out on reaching the Strictly final after the judges saved EastEnders actor Bobby Brazier in the semi-final dance-off. 

She has the chance to relive the Strictly magic on tour but this time Annabel will be performing with Graziano Di Prima, whose partner was Zara McDermott throughout the series. 

And while Annabel describes the Italian professional as ‘joyful’ she’s ‘sad’ not to be in the company of her close friend, Johannes.

She said: ‘Obviously, it is really sad he’s not doing it.

‘I loved every second with him and I just adore him and I think he’s very sad that he’s not doing it as well… so it’s different.

‘But Graziano is so joyful… he’s like a big Tigger. He kind of bounces into a room with a great big smiley face and he’s terribly positive and upbeat and jolly and he’s very smiley and he’s made it very easy to just transition into a different partner.’

• Strictly Come Dancing The Live Tour, 19 January – 11 February. For venues and tickets: StrictlyComeDancingLive.com